Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Eight Months

I know it has been way way way too long since my last post and I am feeling ever so guilty. Got our family pics taken and had to share this shot of my little man at 8 months old. Love him with all my heart...and I will be updating soon!!
 
 

Friday, September 14, 2012

Love This...

My mom's friend passed this along to her and I absolutely LOVE it. It captures all my thoughts and emotions and shares them in the perfect way.
 
 
 
WELCOME TO HOLLAND
by
Emily Perl Kingsley.
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.


Friday, July 13, 2012

4 Months!

My little man is growing so fast! Here are his four month stats...

Weight: 13lbs 9.5oz  His charts 75% Average Height charts 20%
Length: 23 inches His charts 50% Average Height charts 1%
Head Size: 17.25 inches His Charts 50% Average Height charts 85%

What a great summer we have had! I say this everytime but its so true...Cal is the happiest most content baby ever! He just goes with the flow. Maybe thats how it is when you are the third child but we sure are grateful that he is content to do whatever it is we are doing. As far as milestones go...he is able to fully support his head on his own (which is a pretty big task when you have a big noggin), and just three days ago he started to grab for toys, his binky, and my hand when I put them in front of him. He is also a jabber box... he makes the cutest little baby noises and we get a laugh every now and then if I act really really crazy!  He hasn't even thought about rolling over yet tho...tummy time is still really hard for him. Because his head is on the large size its difficult when he is on his tummy to hold his head up for more than a few seconds, but we are working every day and we know eventually he will get there! He goes to bed at 8 wakes up at 5 on the button every morning to eat and  then is back to sleep until 7:30 or 8:00. He still loves to be swaddled nice and tight for bed. And yes I rock him to sleep. It will be a minor miracle if I have another baby so I want to enjoy every moment I have with this little babe. I tell him every morning...Cal, you make mommy so happy. And its true...there is nothing better than seeing his happy smiling face first thing in the morning. Happy 4 months baby boy...we LOVE you!


 My little boater! My fam goes boating every Thursday and Cal is always up for a boat ride. He is the first of 12 grandkids to not scream and even crack a smile while wearing this annoying life jacket!

 Now that our yard is finally done we love having dinner and enjoying our peaceful summer nights in the backyard!
 Hiking up Adams canyon



 Worn out from all our 4th of July fun!


Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Don't be Sorry

   I had someone come by today. Someone who has not seen Cal since he was born. His first words were we have all been thinking about you and we are so sorry. I know he had the best of intentions and I know his words were not meant to create a stir in my heart...but they did, and so I felt like I should share my feelings as of lately. 
    I know it can be hard to know what to say to someone who is dealing with a situation that you yourself have never gone through...and I don't expect people to say the right thing every time. And I will say that saying something is always better than just ignoring the situation all together (that is even  more uncomfortable for me). I guess his comment just made me want to shout from my roof top...PLEASE don't feel sorry for me. Am I going to have hard days...yes absolutely! Will there be days I cry...yes! Are there nights I lie awake and relive those first few nights in the hospital...most certainly. I won't say that this is easy because for me it is not. But I have never once felt sorry for myself. Just right now Cal is sitting here looking up at me with such a big grin on his face and I know I will never be sorry...so please don't be sorry for me.
     Sometimes I think people don't say anything because they don't want me to feel uncomfortable. And honestly before Cal I would have been one of those people who didn't say anything. I would have ignored the situation all together...but now I see things differently. I love it when people ask me questions...its ok to be curious and I am happy to talk about Cal. I want everyone to know about him!! This little boy has changed me in so many ways...and most days now are good days. The bad are few and far between. I love him with a fierce and protective love that is hard to describe. I will never feel sorry...but rather grateful that he is mine!!
  

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Cals Blessing Day

We blessed Cal the first Sunday in May. It was a great day...one I will never forget. Marcus gave Cal such a sweet blessing. Cal looked adorable in his blessing outfit. It is the same outfit Marcus wore 34 years ago when he was blessed, and Will wore 6 years ago on his blessing day. All our family (except Marcus's brother) were able to come celebrate Cal's special day. The pictures I posted capture his personality perfectly. He's either looking around with big wide eyes or smiling like crazy! Love this little boy sooo much!



Tuesday, May 8, 2012

2 Months

Wow 2 months already?? Where does the time go? Here are Cal's stats:
Weight: 11 pounds 1 oz. On his charts he is in the 75% in Average Height Charts the 36%
Height: 21 inches. His charts 50% Average Height Chart 1%
Head Size: 16.5 inches. His charts 50% Average Height Chart 89%

Basically he is following along just how he should...short and a big head:)! Is it bad to say that I hope he always stays in the 50th percentile or less as far as his head is concerned? I guess thats me being superficial but this blog is about me being honest and thats just how I feel. I looked back at pictures from the past month and I'm feeling guilty. I took sooo many pictures in the beginning and I became a major slacker this past month. Most my pictures are of him in his car seat. Fitting though since it seems all we do is run from one place to the next. Will is busy with baseball and soccer. Ivy is busy with gymnastics and dance, and it seems we are rarely home. Good thing Cal is such a good sport and just goes with the flow. He is still happy and content which is so wonderful! He goes to bed around 9 wakes up to eat once at night and then is back to sleep until 6 or 7. He is holding his head up for brief periods of time and is smiling like crazy! Every day I fall more and more in love with him. We are going to our first Little People event on Friday. I'm a little nervous. Not sure what to expect. Honestly, I just hope to make some friends.  I know that may not happen right away but maybe over time...just to have someone to talk to that knows what I am going through would be so wonderful.
Happy 2 Months Cal...I promise to take more pictures this month!






Me and Cal in St. George....this is the only picture I have of me and him. New goal: Take more pictures with my sweet baby!!!

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

First Photo Shoot!

These were taken when Cal was 11 days old. I wanted to wait to post them until my announcements were mailed and delivered. Now that I have finally checked that job off my to do list here they are! My sweet friend (and talented photographer) Kacee took them and I LOVE them. I posted a few of my fav (I know it seems like a lot more than a few)...but I could have posted even more. Can't wait to order a bunch of them on canvas and display them in his room!
















3 Weeks

Just wanted to post a few of my favorite 3 week pics! Cal is still a very calm and content little guy. He loves to be swaddled up nice and tight...and he loves to rest his little head on my shoulder. Ivy is still loving him a little too much and hugging him a little too hard. I keep thinking one day the newness of Cal will wear off and she will lose interest in him but no such luck yet! Happy 3 weeks little man we sure do love you!!





My little helper!

Saturday, April 14, 2012

MRI

Cal had to have an MRI when he was 3 weeks and 5 days old. Kids with Achondroplasia can have a small Foramen Magnum (this is a large opening in the base of the skull that the spinal cord runs through). If it is to small it can casue respiratory and neurologic complications. The MRI checks the size of the Foramen Magnum. After the MRI is read by a radiologist the results are sent to a neurosurgeon who determines if surgery (to enlarge the opening) is needed. Cal had to fast for 4 hours before his surgery...and for all of you that have had babies you can understand how that would be difficult with a newborn. He did great the first 3 hours but after that he was hungry...and who can blame him thats when he should be eating! I hated that he had to be hungry, that he had to get an IV, that he had to be put to sleep (not just with gas but intubated as well), and I hated that he had to be hooked up to monitors for 8 hours aftere the surgery.  I also decided that sometimes my nursing eductaion can be a bad thing. I know too much and so I worry. I watched the oxygen saturation monitor in his post op room like a hawk...paranoid everytime it would drop below 90%. Which it did a few times while we were there. Eventually though after a long and very draining day we were discharged home. A week later we met with a neurosurgeon at Primary Childrens Hospital. He informed us the opening was small...but not small enough that surgery was required. Best news ever!!! I was so relieved he didn't need surgery. Obviously there are certain signs and symptoms to look out for...but for now we are good and won't need another MRI until he is two years old. This was a great blessing and an answer to my prayers.

 The anesthesiologist let us watch as he put Cal to sleep with gas. After he was asleep they put in his IV and intubated him. It was after he was asleep that they took him away. Watching them take my little boy away from me was very hard and I cried. I was so grateful when that 45 minutes was over and I was able to see him again!
 Cal was a trooper! Spending the entire day in the small same day surgery room...and sleeping in a wagon (below) didn't bother him a bit. I, on the other hand, had a really hard time stuck in that little room all day and was so grateful when we were discharged home.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Week Two

Week Two...lots to talk about! Marcus Cal and I went to Primary Childrens to meet with Dr. Rope and Dr. Calhoun. Both are geneticists and both were absolutely amazing. Most doctors you wait forever to see them and once you do see them they try to get rid of you as soon as they can. These two sat with us for three hours answering all of our questions and addressing all of our concerns. Kids with Achondroplasia pretty much grow up just like the rest of us...with a few extra doctor visits along the way. They told us the first thing Cal would need is an MRI (more about that in a later post). They need a sleep study to check for sleep apnea, and then often times they need to see an ENT due to chronic ear infections because of small ear canals (most often if this is the case they will just put tubes in) and then down the road they may need their tonsils and adenoids removed. We were also given growth charts to measure Cal's growth as he will obviously be on a much different curve than someone who is average height.  Along with the growth charts we got a gross motor chart specifically for Cal. He will be behind on all of this for a couple reasons...one, kids with Achondroplasia have big heads (which makes it hard to hold your head up on your own and roll from your tummy to your back...so these are delayed), and two, his legs and arms are short which makes crawling and walking a much more difficult task. Eventually he will  figure it out just like everyone else...it just takes a little longer. This week we also went to our regualar two week check up at the pediatrician and this little stinker isn't gaining weight like he should. And so I have decided to supplement and pump to make sure he gains weight. Never have I not had enough milk...I normally make enough for triplets...but I think all the added stress from day one decreased my milk supply and no matter what I try I can't seem to make more. I feel guilty...as I breastfed my other two but at the end of the day I can only do so much.( I will admit its kind of nice to give a bottle during the hectic morning rush ...and also having the hubs help out with those late night feedings!) Other than that it was a normal week. Cal is an AMAZING baby. He is very content (I consider this a great blessing!) rarely does he cry or fuss and he puts up with all of Ivy's forceful hugging and kissing ( if he survives her..he will be able to survive anything!)

Dad and Cal. Marcus does the first shift of the night. I'm grateful to have a hubby who is willing to help. And I'm even more grateful for the extra 3 hours of sleep I get becuase of it!
I just LOVE him! Can't decide yet what color his hair is going to be. Ivy and Will started with black hair and ended up light...his hair is much lighter so wondering if when it falls out his hair will be dark like mine.
I know they say not to put babies on their tummies but I break the rules sometimes for his little cat naps during the day...he seems to love being on his belly! (Don't fret I keep a close eye on him!!)

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Week One

Wow the first week is a bit of a blur. The few things I do remember about this week are...the AMAZING meals that our friends and neighbors brought us...and my sweet Mom and her help. Other than that I think I was in survival mode...moving from day to day. We did get the results of Cal's blood test this week and his diagnosis of Achondroplasia was 100% confirmed. For me this was almost a relief...I was just grateful to know for sure what he had and to move forward with educating myself about his condition.

 Ivy still loves her little brother!

 Will holding Cal...this is actually kind of rare. I know he loves the little guy but he is much more hands off than his sister.
 Cal's first bath...as you can see Ivy is right there and ready to help. As you can also see Cal is not a big fan...they never really are until you can actually put them IN the bath!


All clean and cute as ever!!