I had someone come by today. Someone who has not seen Cal since he was born. His first words were we have all been thinking about you and we are so sorry. I know he had the best of intentions and I know his words were not meant to create a stir in my heart...but they did, and so I felt like I should share my feelings as of lately.
I know it can be hard to know what to say to someone who is dealing with a situation that you yourself have never gone through...and I don't expect people to say the right thing every time. And I will say that saying something is always better than just ignoring the situation all together (that is even more uncomfortable for me). I guess his comment just made me want to shout from my roof top...PLEASE don't feel sorry for me. Am I going to have hard days...yes absolutely! Will there be days I cry...yes! Are there nights I lie awake and relive those first few nights in the hospital...most certainly. I won't say that this is easy because for me it is not. But I have never once felt sorry for myself. Just right now Cal is sitting here looking up at me with such a big grin on his face and I know I will never be sorry...so please don't be sorry for me.
Sometimes I think people don't say anything because they don't want me to feel uncomfortable. And honestly before Cal I would have been one of those people who didn't say anything. I would have ignored the situation all together...but now I see things differently. I love it when people ask me questions...its ok to be curious and I am happy to talk about Cal. I want everyone to know about him!! This little boy has changed me in so many ways...and most days now are good days. The bad are few and far between. I love him with a fierce and protective love that is hard to describe. I will never feel sorry...but rather grateful that he is mine!!
OMGosh i feel the same way. When we found out about Madilynn when I was still pregnant the news spread through our church, when I went that Sunday 3 different people said they were sorry and I told them why?? i'm not! I agree though it's mostly cause they haven't lived it and don't know what to say. our kids are amazing just the way they are!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry you have the most beautiful, happy, adorable, everyone fighting over him, chubby, yummy, content baby i have ever seen. it must be hard. haha.
ReplyDeleteHello Jamie! Thank you for commenting on my blog! I love when new parents find me. I can tell you from experience tHat Cal is going to be just fine! He is going to be just like his brother and sister just shorter. I am laughing at the "I am sorry" comment..........no one ever said that to me before. I think because when Lyla was born I told EVERYBODY about her condition and after I did that I would say.........."isn't this the best news that God sent me this beautiful baby! I can't believe he thinks I am that woNderful to trust me with this blessing!" And everyone would reply....."he couldn't have picked two better people"! And you know what I would feel so darn fabulous! I want to say not to take things that people say to heart. I never do. I have made it my mission to help other parents and to advocate for dwarfism. Your children are Beautiful and your precious CAL is ADORABLE! His smile is so infectious! I want to squeeze him! If you ever want to chat by phone please contact me and I will give you my phone number. We can chat and you can ask me any questions you might have. Remember you are not alone and I am here to support you in any way I can. I love sharing my knowledge of Achondroplasia and I have helped so many parents. Trust me when I say......you are about to embark on the greatest journey of your lives! I look forward to reading more of your family adventures! I will add you to my blog list and feel free to do the same!
ReplyDeleteU have the most beautiful family jamie! Whenever I rad your blog, I get chills, because I know heavenly father sent him down to your family so that he could be loved by the most wonderful family! We miss you guys greatly and glad to hear things are going well for you and your family!! Best Wishes all the time!
ReplyDeletelove this! you're such a great mommy! and Cal is definitely such a blessing! love that little guy!
ReplyDeleteHi Jamie just wanted to respond to your questions. Yes we are members of the LPA. We have met amazing people and have made lifelong friends. Also the ONLY test Lyla had was a sleep study at 8 weeks old. We see Dr. Bober and Dr. Mackenzie at DuPont children's hospital in Delaware. They specialize in Achondroplasia. They said that by having a sleep study that they would be able to tell if Lyla would need any procedures from the results. She did great with the sleep study and it was determined from the results that she was a healthy Achon baby! She never had an MRI or anything else. Do Cal's doctors specialize in Achondroplasia?
ReplyDeleteJamie,
ReplyDeleteI just stumble across this blog and saw that you lived in Utah. My name is Rebekah and 30 some odd years ago my parents were in the same boat as you and your husband. I was born with achondroplasia and when my parents found out they were devastated. My dads first thought was who is going to take her to prom? My parents got over the shock and started contacting the local people of LPA (little people of America). So lets just say my life has been amazing and I did go to prom. Yes there has been hard times but I wouldn't change any of it.. I'm now a mom of an 11 year old average (he's a foot in ah half taller) size son and also a eight month old girl that also has achondroplasia. We live in Orem so if there is anything you need or have questions about we are here for you... Hang in there and get ready for an amazing journey your son will take you on...
Take care
Rebekah
Rebekah~
DeleteI am so glad you found me!! Your sweet words made my night! Do you attend the LPA events? We went to the fiesta in May and are planning on going this month. We are excited to get to know lots of new amazing people throughout this new journey. Do you have a blog? Would love to see your family!!
Jamie
Your welcome... Your blog is so sweet and it def shows that Cal was chosen to come to a sweet family like yours.
ReplyDeleteMy parents got me involved with LPA right away. I think it helped them more when I was young because they were able to get all the knowledge and get me to the right doctors. Then as I got older it helped me with my own self image. I knew I wasn't alone, I knew there were other people out there, and best of all I have made life long friends from all over the world.
My parents have been national parent coordinators for LPA and my mom has a wealth of knowledge. I def asked my mom everything when I had Ella eight months ago...
We go to all of the LPA events if our lives are not to crazy. We missed the last one because we were down in southern Utah, but we should be to the one at the end of this month.
I'm sorry I don't have a blog, I wish I could have one but my life gets a little nuts so I wouldn't be able to update it much.. I do have Facebook just look up under my name.
I know there is some other moms with "little, littles" that are under 2 years old that are wanting to do a monthly play group. I will check into that and get that info to you.
Again if you need anything feel free to ask..
Oh the link below is something me, my mom, and sisters participated in a project for a local photographer..
http://justinhackworth.com/blog/2012/30-strangers-day-twenty-5/
Take care
Rebekah
Jamie Dear, for some reason I couldn't comment the last time because sometimes I have difficulty making these things work, but Ali just got me onto this blog and it is beautiful. As a grandmother, I feel so much like you do just not so fiercely as a mother. He is so sweet and I miss him so much! From, Jane
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